What Side Do You Dress On? — An Awkward Yet Important Question
How you hang your genitalia may be something easily overlooked, but the answer to the question stands important for several reasons.
This is a common question you would get from a tailor or a seamster and you should be well aware that this concerns the way you hang your genitalia.
As a man, it’s pretty important to know where your penis would hang inside of the pants. There are three common ways to do it, but only two are considerable when it comes to concerns regarding the fit of the slacks.
It’s good nature for bespoke tailors in well-known suit making shops to ask this question. Typical menswear slacks that go with shirts and suits are generally tight and fit around the thigh gap, leaving not much room for the male genitalia to breathe.
This usually stands as a problem that is not only uncomfortable but also damage-inducing to some probability.
How does one actually answer the question?
It’s no wonder how unfamiliar the question can get these days. It’s not like people have been going to bespoke suit tailors and clothing makers for them to hear this question on a regular basis.
With the rise of fast fashion, clothes are measured in such a way that it fits “perfectly” to any type of body within a given range. But it still doesn’t get the feel and fit of something personally done by a tailor for a patron or client.
The points to fix on slacks when this question arises would be the waist or the seat. If you’re not familiar, the seat is the area where one’s testicles would touch, as it is the spot right directly between the thigh gaps. From here, the leg opening from where the penis would “hang” is given more space through the expansion of the rear seam.
Circling back to the question, there are actually two common choices for this. It also comes with a third answer that sits as something rather unusual yet naturally occurring.
So there’s an option to hang it on the left, the right, and the middle. There’s no actual right or wrong way to do it and there’s also no judgment that comes from doing it differently from other people.
Let’s go and explain first how hanging in the middle works.
Going for the middle
If your answer to this would be “the middle”, then I don’t think it should matter when it comes to fitting pants.
It’s an answer that bears no weight for the tailor since the schlong is sitting along the zipper which actually has ample space for it to breathe on.
This is a pretty usual case when someone wears briefs, tight trunks, or boxer briefs instead of boxers that usually let the junk freely hang to its own accord.
To add, going by the middle doesn’t necessarily need some addressing when it comes to figuring out if the penis goes upwards or downwards.
Naturally, it’d hurt if one would have the penis pointing towards the balls, especially at times when it would naturally elongate and harden. That’s got to hurt.
So to fix this, the only actual direction the penis would point when having it by the middle is upwards so as to provide maximum comfort and clearance.
Left or right?
The key here now for the tailor is figuring out if the penis goes to the left or to the right. It’s really quite hard to read this question without smirking or letting out a bit of a laugh, but the question stands in being a serious matter that needs to be dealt with and answered.
Specifically speaking, this issue of the left and right hang or bulge holds dear to well-endowed men.
By well endowed, their penises lengths and girths are usually well above the average size tailors are accustomed to measuring.
Statistically speaking, here are the numbers directly from the people of WHO.
● If the length of your penis is 2.75 inches or below, there are 3% of people like you in the population
● If the length of your penis is between 2.75 inches to 4.72 inches, there are 4% of people like you in the population
● If the length of your penis is between 4.73 inches to 5.9 inches, there are 75% of people like you in the population
● If the length of your penis is between 6 inches to 7.08 inches, there are 15% of people like you in the population
● Lastly, if the length of your penis is 7.09 inches or above and is averaging at 7.87 inches, there are 3% of you in the population
With the problem of tight and uncomfortable pants only happening for 18% of the general population, it is not so surprising to see how the question of “What side do you dress on?” or “how do you hang?” is a bit uncommon to the general public. Naturally, it should seem like common sense, but just by looking at it, it seems not to be the case.
What difference does it make and how does it actually change from person to person?
It’s perfectly normal and not beyond natural to have the penis be erect with a certain curvature or bend that points to a specific direction.
This is more of a thing that takes on genetics than it actually being something that should stand as a health concern. The only concern it should only be known for is with regard to tailors giving some leeway for the penis to “hang” at a specific side or spot in the pants.
What’s actually quite difficult about this topic is that no one usually takes the question seriously as if it had certain stakes upon it. It was always a question that’s easier to laugh at rather than it being answered. It’s not particularly a sensitive one, it’s just so outright funny to most people.
Where does it actually change in the shorts, pants, slacks, or trousers?
It all varies on how much space is given in the J-seam of the pants. This is the excess amount of cloth one can find at the crotch area when the two-leg parts of the pants are being sewn together. A common problem here is that there isn’t usually much leeway around the J-seam, pushing the fabric to tear commonly along the crotch area.
The problem with the modern 2-piece pattern in making pants is focused solely on its incapability to shape the butt and the crotch right. The J-seam pattern easily pushes both sides to be flat, that’s why tears are common along the thigh gap even though all one does with the pair of pants is walk.
Most modern fashion statements push this part of the pants a bit lower than usual, as some celebrities had made it famous to hang the pants way below the waist. Some other fashion statements require that this part of the pants be too high, making it seem as if the legs are very slim. This is common on jeans that are either slim or skinny fit.
So this is actually where it matters. Having a tailor know which side you “hang” or “dress” easily gives them the idea on which side of the leg they should allow you some breathing room for your male part. Not only does this question apply in the fabrication of the product, but also when the tailor is trying to figure out where to not touch when getting your measurements.
Some Other Theories To Ponder on
Life is never as straightforward as it seems. With the topic at hand having no actual definitive answer, there are actually several theories around the internet with regard to why people choose to hang their junk either on the left or on the right.
One could definitely easily point the cause towards genetics, but sometimes the trends just don’t seem to make sense. Here are some things we can all check on.
1. Different types of underwear easily connote different kinds of dress or hang
The penis would definitely point in a direction when you wear underwear. This usually is connected to the fact that you unknowingly point it in a direction when you tuck it in. It’s a habit that easily goes overlooked in our heads. When you try to remember it, you only get to do so when you act upon it again and you’re self-aware that you have to know the answer.
Chafing is no joke, so be wary of the type of underwear you’re going to avail. Your best friend here would be to get boxes so your junk is loose and free to go any direction it wants. Briefs or trunks, on the other hand, give much constriction, making it quite an uncomfortable experience.
2. It all relies on magnetism
This theory is a bit superstitious in nature, stating how penises have a certain electromagnetic field that forces them upon metal objects. It’s customary for someone to pocket down certain metallic objects such as cards, keys, or even coins.
The theory states that your junk would point at the pocket that it’s almost magnetically attracted to. If you have more metallic things in your right pocket, then your junk would instantly point that way inside your boxers. It’s not the most sound, but you can definitely catch it in action from time to time.
3. It depends on which hand you use a lot when masturbating
Although it’s another fun topic to delve into, it definitely makes a lot of sense.
If one hand controls the junk and the other the mouse, repetition would definitely force to point it in a direction. Your dominant hand would definitely be the one your mind would focus on controlling, so that’s the one holding your junk. This means that your junk would point at your dominant hand when you “dress” or “hang”, as it’s habitually in that direction on your specific alone time.
This short time of pleasure makes up for a noticeable curve and a very apparent direction of drop overall. Anatomically speaking, the penis has 3 chambers conjoining to build it. One is on the top and there are two on both sides. If one of the side chambers genetically came out shorter than the other, then gravity would definitely pull in that direction. With not much going on to contradict the hang, the shorter chamber would easily carry the weight of the drop.
4. Your dress and hang is indirectly proportional to your dominant hand
This definitely debunks the previous theory, but it still holds true since none of these statements are facts.
With the heart’s position stating the dominance of a person may it be left or right, this also connotes how a man may dress or hang. A heart position farther left would indicate a person is left side dominant and vice versa.
Arguably speaking, if you’re a left-handed person, it’s easier to pull out your schlong when urinating from the right inseam of your pants. Also, you may be noticed that right-handed people let their junk rest on the left side.
Coincidence? It probably is just a good mix of biology and conditioning.
5. One testicle is sitting lower than the other, with the lower one being the spot where to “dress” or “hang”
Logically speaking, you’d definitely need more space on one side of the pants if one of your balls drops lower than the other.
There would be more space on the side where it drops lower, and that space would also be occupied by your junk thanks to the gravitational pull of the earth.
With the world being predominantly right-handed, it’s no question how most tailors and seamsters know that most men dress to the left.
Several of the previously aforementioned theories easily support this one claim, making it seem as if they’re almost borderline facts.
To which a man may “hang” or “dress” should never stand to be a bother, but the only important thing about it is that you know what to answer when the question is thrown at you.
That easily makes the mark of a true gentleman.
Have I answered your question yet? Comment your ideas below!
